Ianto and M&M's dont mix
by Ianto'sCoffeeMinion
Summary: IM conversation. Gwen inntroduces Ianto to M&M's. He goes hyper and annoys Jack into trying to get him to buy him some. There are some more serious features brought up in the conversation but youll have to read to find out! Mentions of Rhys- Gwen/Ianto Friendship annnnd JANTO ! I have no idea why Ianto's username dosent show up. If ur intrested its Mr.Jones. Always the professional


**Gwen-i-licious **is online.

**Gwen-i-licious **has initiated the conversation.

is online.

**Gwen-i-licious: **Hi Ianto, I was popping to the shops and wondered if you wanted anything?

** : **No thanks Gwen, kind of you to ask though :)

**Gwen-i-licious: **U sure? Need any stationary? Sweets?

** : **I have a draw full of stationary with spares in the cupboard if need be…you underestimate me Mrs Cooper.

**Gwen-i-licious: **True that, its probably already organised in some sort of order that I've never heard of! I bet you could find a pen in the dark!

** : **Actually I have…but we won't go into that ;)

**Gwen-i-licious: **You did not just use innuendo on me! I thought you were above that sort of thing!

** : **Being around Jack 24/7 is kind of a bad influence. Mowhaha!

**Gwen-i-licious: **That it is! Maybe we should go get a drink sometime? You know when Rhys is out with 'The Lads' and us wives are left at home doing cleaning.

** : **Mmm yeah, maybe :) ill see if I can persuade Jack into letting me in the outside world for a night!

Wait a sec…did you just call me a 'wife'?¬!

**Gwen-i-licious: ** We all know you're the 'woman' in the relationship! You do the cooking, cleaning ect. I swear Jack wouldn't be able to function without you around!

** : **I suppose I am…

**Gwen-i-licious: **You say that like it's a bad thing! Us girls gotta stick together! We're the pretty and resilient ones in a world of unappreciative husbands! ;)

** : **Well, when you put it like that, I like being the pretty one (I'm not vain…really!) And I sincerely hope that the world is not full of 'unappreciative husbands' one Jack is more than enough for me!

**Gwen-i-licious: **I here ya! As much as I love Rhys, there's only so much wet towels and upturned toilet seats I can take!

** : **Ewwww no! He dosent! Does he?

**Gwen-i-licious: ** Yup! Everywhere we go! It's like I'm picking up after a child!

** : **I think of Rhys more a Teddy Bear, he's all soft and huggable :)

**Gwen-i-licious: ** Ahwwww I never thought of it like that before!

** : **Do you see what I mean though? I just wanna hug him! Hes adorable!

**Gwen-i-licious: **Ay ay Mr. Take your man-crush elsewhere; my husband is 100% straight! So hands off!

** : **Cant I admire your husband from afar? ;)

**Gwen-i-licious: **No you cannot! Next thing I know you'll be taking MY teddy bear everywhere that you go…and I don't think Jack's gunna take well to you declaring your love for another man?

** : **I'm not 'declaring my love' I'm just saying he's adorable is all…

**Gwen-i-licious: **Next you'll be saying he's fabulous!

** : **As much as I like the pro's of being Gay, I would never say that word. Ever. Just so you know.

**Gwen-i-licious: **So if one day it just slips out of your mouth, do you five me permission to tie you to a chair and make you drink a six pack of beer whilst watching football?

** : **Yes Gwen, that would be greatly appreciated, thank you :)

**Gwen-i-licious: **So there is an up side from putting up with your constant organisation then? Ahahahahah!

** : **Heeeeeeeey! I'm not that bad!

**Gwen-i-licious: **Really? So re arranging the guns into size order was just being practical was it? Oh, and what about that time you wouldn't let me use the blue post-its because you said there were too many pink ones left? There are plenty more :P

** : **It is practical! And I like the blue post-its, no one uses the pink ones.

**Gwen-i-licious: ** And that just happens to be the Post-it that Jack uses is just a coincidence then?

** : **Yes.

**Gwen-i-licious: **Riggggggght!

** :** I thought you were going to the shops?

**Gwen-i-licious: **Oh yeah! That's you distracting me Mr.!

** : **What can I say? I have that effect on people ;)

**Gwen-i-licious: **Well you certainly have that effect on Jack. He was staring at you all morning!

** : **I know! But I refused to acknowledge it as he hadn't finished his paperwork!

**Gwen-i-licious: **That pen drop was a genius idea! Did you see his face!

** : **Yes! I thought he was going to eat me!

**Gwen-i-licious: **Was that innuendo intended or….?

** : **How could you think such a thing! I'm a professional, I would never say such things in the work place!

**Gwen-i-licious: **…

** : **Ok! Ok, you got me! But its not my fault! Blame Jack!

**Gwen-i-licious: **Oh I will!

** : **Thank youuuuuuu!

**Gwen-i-licious: **I better go to the shops before I forget. You sure you don't want me to get you some sweets? I'm buying some for myself and wouldn't wanna leave you out :)

** : **What you having?

**Gwen-i-licious: **M&M's :Ppppppp

** : **What are they?

**Gwen-i-licious: **OMG! You haven't tried M&M's! Ianto where have you been all your life?

** : **Erm…under a very organised rock?

**Gwen-i-licious: **Theyre like Smarites in Skittles colours but MUCH better! Don't knock em until you've tried em! I'll get you some, see what you think :)

** :** Ohhh ok! Thanks! Better get back to work Jacks coming down in 5…don't ask ;)

**Gwen-i-licious: **Oh believe me I wont! Not after walked in on the two of you!

** : **Yeah, sorry about that. I was really embarrassed. It was hardly professional of me, but you know how Jack is…

**Gwen-i-licious: **He's only like that around you… he LOVESSSSS YOU!

** : **I doubt that.

**Gwen-i-licious: **Ahwww Ianto! Don't say that! You can see he does! But hes a man, men can't tell you their feelings, that wouldn't be manly at all would it?

** : **Great. Now you're talking to me like I'm a girl.

**Gwen-i-licious: **You know what I mean, just drops some hints, or tell him yourself!

** : **But then I don't know how he's gunna react. I cant loose him Gwen, I love him too much.

**Gwen-i-licious: **Ahww Ianto, I'm sure it'll be fine. If he freaks out, just change the subject, distract him, but this is Jack were talking about and we all know how he feels about you even if he won't admit it :)

** : **I guess, well thanks for the girly-chat! Jack'll be here any second so ¬!

**Gwen-i-licious: **Bye :) I'll bring your M&M's up when I get back. I just hope you don't go hyper on them like Rhys does :)

**Gwen-i-lious** and are offline.

**An Hour Later…**

has changed their name.

**IantoTheM&Mlover **has initiated the conversation.

**Captain.J.H **is online.

**IantoTheM&Mlover: **!

**Captain.J.H: **Hi, nice name…I guess.

**IantoTheM&Mlover: **DON'T KNOCK THE NAME! It clearly declares my love for M&M's! Did you know I LOVE M&M's?

**Captain.J.H: **Is someone drunk?

**IantoTheM&Mlover: **How could ya even think such a thaang!

**Captain.J.H: **Whats with the accent?

**IantoTheM&Mlover: **I have no idea! Ahahahahaha! But its funny isn't it?

**Captain.J.H: **Are you Hyper?

**IantoTheM&Mlover: **Maybe…Maybe not? Wanna come find out? *In the accent of a Russian prostitute*

**Captain.J.H: **Right ok…I'm a little freaked out….

**IantoTheM&Mlover: **NOOOOOO! I'm supposed to be all smexy not scary!

**Captain.J.H: **Your very sexy, you don't need to try ;)

**IantoTheM&Mlover: **AHHHWWWW! Jaaaaack! That's sweet! I LOVE YOU!

**Captain.J.H: **I thinks someone should stay away from sweets in the future Aha!

**IantoTheM&Mlover: **I just declared my love for you and you ignored it!

**Captain.J.H: **I'm sorry, but I'm not taking you seriously at the moment. You just declared your love for M&M's so I'm not convinced.

**IantoTheM&Mlover: **I'll show you!

**IantoTheM&Mlover **has changed their name.

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **SEE!

**Captain.J.H: **That's adorable Ianto, that really is :)

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **ADORABLE! Is that all your gunna say! I Love you more than M&M's and I LOVVVVVVVVVVVE M&M's!

**Captain.J.H: **Ok, ok. I love you too. Happy now?

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **YES! Ahwwwww you love meeeeeeeeeeee! You wanna kiss meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, You wanna have smexy time with !

**Captain.J.H: **That I do. Now get back to work and message me when you've calmed down.

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **No! WAIT! I need to ask you something¬!

**Captain.J.H: **Go on then…

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **You know you love meeeeee?

**Captain.J.H: **Yes…?

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **&M's Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

**Captain.J.H: **No.

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **Buy whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

**Captain.J.H: **Because Hyper Ianto will be unbelievably hyper with another bag of those things!

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **I'll make it worth your while? ;) ;)

**Captain.J.H: **As tempting as that is, and believe me that very tempting. I would have the wrath of Gwen to deal with, so no.

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **If you loved me you'd do it.

**Captain.J.H: **Blackmail won't get you anywhere.

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **Stripping will though? Right? ;)

**Captain.J.H: **Maybe…

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **AHA! Got your attention¬! *Starts playing stripping music- dun nuh nuh NUHH*

**Captain.J.H: **What are M&M's anyway?

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **Jacccccccccccccccccccck!

**Captain.J.H: **What?

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **You just ruined my virtual-stripping session!

**Captain.J.H: **Whoops! Wouldn't wanna do that now would I? Not with that amazing ass of yours: p

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **Why thank you Captain ;)

**Captain.J.H: **So what sweet is so important that you'd lose all self-respect and dignity and start stripping for me?

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **I lost that a loooooooooooong time ago! And theyre like Smarties but with Skittles colours!

**Captain.J.H: **So why don't you just but some smarties or skittles then?

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **Becauuuuuuuuuuuuse Smarties chocolate is not that nice and the colours are dull! Durrrrrrrrrrr! And I can't swallow Skittles.

**Captain.J.H: **One. Your gunna eat them anyway so I doesn't matter what they look like. And Two. You can't swallow skittles! They're tiny aren't they? How is it you can swallow something…of a bigger size… and not a skittle?

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **But they're RAINBOWWWWW coloured! And I dunno…

**Captain.J.H: **Right, your very weird.

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **That's not nice!

**Captain.J.H: **Have I hurt widdy wanto's feelings?

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **My name is IANTO! Yan-Toe!

**Captain.J.H: **Sorry !

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **Just go to the shop for me PLEAAAAASE!

**Captain.J.H: **No, you don't need more sugar in your system than you already have, next thing I know your bouncing off of the walls, and not in a good way ;) ;) ;) ;)

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **That was waaaaaaaaay too many winkey faces! What am I gunna suck on now!

**Captain.J.H: **Do you have to even ask? ;)

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **Naughty Captain!

**Captain.J.H: **You love it though ;)

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **Yesssssssssssss!

**Captain.J.H: **You gunna come up here then, In my big, spacious, comfy office where Gwen isn't watching you like a hawk?

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **She does have beady eyes… hehe! Don't tell her I said that otherwise she won't buy my anymore sweets.

**Captain.J.H: **Good!

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **Kill-Joy!

**Captain.J.H: **You coming to my office or not?

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's: **2 Minutes and counting ;)

**IantoLovesJackMoreThanM&M's **is offline.

**Captain.J.H **_Now I know what to buy him to annoy Gwen ;)_


End file.
